MEMORIES OF FREAST

1. FREAST DID BARN DANCING

A key part of Bandcamp (where Freast met,) the barndance allowed Freast to go all out with the classy outfits. Oblivious of the fact that it was held in a sportshall and less than 15% of attendees forced to come actually took part, Freast were in their element. Highlights included being bequeathed with the microphone to tell people to doh-see-doh, and being able to hold hands with people it was normally inappropriate to touch. 

2. FREAST DID ARTS AND CRAFTS

As teenagers, Freast never fully took on the ladette culture, preferring to remain indoors in pyjamas painting each other's faces on canvas sourced from Poundland. Keast's depiction by Fry was hung above her bed for at least 3 years, until she came home from uni to find the parents had removed it because they found it 'frightening.' In our heads, in 3 years time these will be hanging facing each other in the 'FREAST: THE FORMER YEARS' exhibition at the Tate. 

3. FREAST DID ENTERTAINING THE MASSES

Another Band Camp gem, Freast took to the stage in polyutherine ''leather'' trousers and multiple gold chains to regale a crowd of about 40. This preceded a joint attempt at playing the violin in the same dress. Both videos can be sourced online but we'll wait for The Sun to find those when we're superstars.

4. FREAST DID DOMESTICITY

As part of our training to become wives, Freast decided to do a Delia and prepare a roast. This resulted in severe oil burns and barely cooked roast potatoes as dessert. Nevertheless, being able to traipse around Tesco wearing clothes we'd found in a house belonging to someone we'd never met allowed for maximum Freast enjoyment. Similarly, our new found obsession with the Primark 'living' department in all its sequinned cushion glory has propelled us along the path of home-making. 

5. FREAST DID CUSTOMIZATION

Furthering our exploration of domesticity, Freast have taken to the sewing machine more than once in our friendship. A pre-Ibiza birthday present for Fry, these bikini bottoms were worn once, subsequently disintegrating upon contact with chlorine. Other bonding moments have included sewing 'Freast' in sequins onto a velour tracksuit until 4am, and creating ballgowns by wrapping leapord print tablecloths around our entire bodies. Think Project Catwalk.